5 Reasons I was Too Afraid to Take Risks
“You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.” — Roy T. Bennett
We all have a certain level of comfort we built into our lives whether it’s financial comfort, relationship comfort, or even health comfort. Our daily routines cater to our comforts because we understand the effort needed to get the results we’ve become accustomed to. We’ve become familiar with what we have and so why bother reaching for more.
For some of us, we’re bothered because we feel deep down, there’s more out there to life. We have a sense something is missing. We need to take a certain level of risk to venture out of our safely constructed comfort zone to discover what our heart is longing for.
For the last couple years, I was too scared of stepping beyond my boundaries, but a voice lingered inside telling me I needed a complete change in direction. Seven years ago, I moved to sunny San Diego to rebuild my life after a divorce. I’m a small town girl from Utah and I have never experienced life outside a different state. I knew a change of scenery and energy would be good for me. In all accounts, I built a certain level of success in important areas of my life including career, connections, and friendships. As secure as these areas were, there were other areas that seemed limited. I felt disconnected in my calling, purpose, and service to others.
For awhile, I’ve wanted to take some time off to lean into a redefined path that brings more joy and meaning such as writing and helping others. I also wanted time to strengthen my relationships with friends and find a potential life partner. My career had taken the front seat for so long which included eighty percent of my time and energy. With the twenty percent left, I spent recuperating from the overwhelming strain of work. Even when I set my intentions to draw the line to have that coveted work life balance, work kept rearing its head and cut off anything that didn’t serve its master.
Even though I was afraid of taking risks to reinvent parts of my life, I worked through these fears. I started introducing risks — some big and some small — and this change has made all the difference. I’ve tucked away so many parts of me because I thought I was protecting them. Instead, I wasn’t given them the time to breathe, live, develop into what they may become.
I knew I needed to take a risk but I was afraid. Once I accepted my fears and faced them, my path to a more intentional life took shape.
1. I was afraid of failure
I’ll admit sometimes I wished I didn’t have grand dreams floating in my head. It’s impossible for me to keep track of how many ideas fly in and out. I know it’s a funny belief but if I didn’t have these desires, I wouldn’t have to worry about them. I could live a normal, unencumbered life void of possibilities to see what my desires could potentially become.
If I try, I could fail. If I try, I could succeed. I could only have these two options if I accept all my dreams and give them a chance to breathe.
2. I was afraid of what other people would think
Our dreams are like our babies. They’re pure, fragile, and innocent. For some people, they see and admire the beauty of our dreams. They likely see a reflection of their dreams in ours. For others, they wince and squirm at the rawness of our dreams. They likely see their own limitations of their dreams in ours.
I cared too much about what others would think. There came a point where I stopped caring to please them and started to please myself. When I write, I write in pursuit of my own excellence and no one else’s.
3. I was afraid I wasn’t smart enough
It’s hard not to compare ourselves to others and their success. These highly successful people must know something we don’t know. I thought I didn’t have their capabilities or abilities to do what they did. Then I realized, I didn’t want what they have. I didn’t want to do it their way. I wanted to succeed in a way that radiates authentically me. I wanted to appreciate the journey along the way and I trust my own strength and guidance.
They say you don’t want to be the smartest person in the room. Instead surround yourself with not only smart people, but good people and you’ll have all the people you’ll need to help you on your journey.
4. I was afraid to be in center stage
In many aspects of my life, I was the one behind the scenes making sure everything was working smoothly. I never liked to be the center of attention in anything whether it’s with my colleagues, family, friends, or a group of strangers. I’m good at deflecting questions and attention towards other people. My voice would be loud in my head but small in the room.
I knew for my ideas and vision to inspire others as I envisioned, I needed to finally take center stage. I needed to get out in the ring of life and fight for my dreams.
5. I was afraid I would lose what I worked so hard for
Seven years ago, I had to rebuild my life from scratch as I pieced together a life after divorce. I had to relearn to become financially independent again. Throughout the years, I climbed the corporate ladder with positions in the financial and tech industry. Two years after my divorce, I became debt free and started to build a financial cushion with the desires to buy a place of my own one day.
I was on my way to the American dream again. If I took the risk of taking time to pursue my creative endeavors, I felt like I was losing what I worked so hard for. In reality, I was redefining what success actually meant to me at this point in my life. What success did look like is having the freedom to do what I wanted and to feel energized in the work I do.
Money wasn’t the only currency I valued life by. Time was also a valuable asset, perhaps in more ways than money. I’ll stop being afraid and take that risk.
